LOVE

Love is one of the most beautiful feelings that man vibes in life. ‘Love is rapturous’. Every movie ,every novel centered upon on love ,por
traits ‘love’ as the magic that binds souls together .. Men and women in love say “true love never ends”.
Well well , I agree with all this .But does true love never ends??. It really disturbed me. Then all love that breaks are “apocryphal” ?. This urged me to search for an answer.
Actually love is of many genres. But the one we are interested here is the ‘romantic love’. The love between a man and a woman. Love is an assortment of three phases. Falling in love , falling out of love and start loving.
FALLING IN LOVE:
As the name says it makes us “fall”. Either the other person’s looks or their behaviour or any other aspect attracts us . The point is “it makes us fall”. It is when the ecstatic feeling begins . Why we feel so?? The explanation will be a little tricky…. When we were born and we start enjoying mother’s love ‘psychologically’ we feel an oneness with our surrounding . There was no “me” and “you”.. But as we grow ,we start developing a seperatedness.. The “me” starts to develop and the “ego boundaries” grows. We all start carrying an identity .This makes us sick,frustated and insecure….. But when we “fall in love” this ego boundary dilutes partially.. We once again feel the oneness ( with the person ). . The “me” and “you” gets redefined as “we” . And this gives a soothing feeling.. We do anything for ‘our another half’.. This makes one say “love is beautiful” This oneness inspires us ,encourages us ,gives us courage and power to face anything in life.. But.
The fairy tale saying “ they lived happily ever after” does not exist in reality.

FALLING OUT OF LOVE:
‘Life becomes absolutely unexplainable ,when you try to explain the inevitable’.. Yes ‘falling out of love’ is inevitable.. It is an ugly truth , but a truth.. The moment one falls in love , ‘his falling out of love’ is dated ,perhaps ‘post-dated’.. It could be after the espousal or even before that .. Why is it so?? Under the spell of love you have fallen in ; ‘the other person seems perfect’.. His/her every imperfections seems to add worth to them.. But as days slips by,the month rolls by the spell slowly disappears and you start living with a “fellow person” of this world. The ego boundaries sets back.. The “we” diappears and the “you and me” starts appearing…
This is when people say “it was all his/her fault”, “you are not the same you used to be”, “you deceived me”, “you have changed a lot”!!!!... The other person’s smallest imperfections makes them unworthy of our love. Actually it is no bodies fault , we humans are “hard-wired “ that way..
This is when most relationship breaks.This is where marriages comes to an end. If we don’t understand this ‘inevitable nature of ours’ ,then love becomes miserable and life becomes even more miserable.

START LOVING:
‘Start loving’?? Then what were we talking about for so long?? ( To me the ‘real human love’ starts only here). Love demands effort. Love tires us. But it makes us evolve and it adds to our selfworth… makes life more meaningful and happy.. Only when the “magic” ends real love begins.. You don’t still feel the person as a part of yourself.. But still you work for them ,make them feel good,.. you embrace them . “And this what love is all about”.. People who can really love are independent. Love is not “ I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU” .This is actually a dependance . We need the person for only our comfort and demands , in a subtle way. Real love is “ I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU ,BUT STILL I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU” . Many relationship doesn’t come to this stage and that’s where love breaks. Love is a commitment. A commitment that makes life more meaningful…
Each of the three phases are equally enjoyable if you understand them.. “START LOVING,START LIVING”

[REFERENCE :- from the book “ROAD LESS TRAVELLED” by DR.SCOTT PECK]