WHY??

It is always a pleasure to watch blood gushing out , except if its not our own blood. And the smell of my blood didn’t please me . The tincture on my wound seems to be more powerful than I anticipated. I took a long breath . In this tent I felt really relaxed . Someone needs to inform me that I am in a battleground to realize the disasters going on out there. Yes , I am a soldier; fighting for my country. In this solitude ‘licking my wounds’ which I endured for my country.After thirteen hours and forty seven minutes of combating ; I got my own time to breath. I walked out of the tent.All over the place I saw wounded soldiers, blood splashed and bodies lying disrespectfully .These images are not new to me ; perhaps for any ‘warrior’. I smiled ,boasting over my ‘warrior title’.
A corpse at a distance got my attention .I marched towards it. It didn’t take much effort for me to recognize the ‘ex-human’ (ya he is not a human anymore ,just a thing).It was I who shot this bastard. How dare he fights against my nation. I shouted in ire ,“ You and your country deserve this you sick son of a b****”. I felt really proud of my bravery.I wanted the comfort of the tent.So took one last glance at my victim.Something started disturbing me. My pride melted like a ice placed near a burning kettle. All I had in my mind now is one question “Why did I kill him??” Ya he is a ‘enemy soldier’ that’s why!!!..But does he deserve death for that..
I stared at him for quiet a long time . He looked more like me; two eyes ,two ears, nose, hair,two arms and legs.. I know that’s because we both are humans.I didn’t kill an alien just a fellow human being. I shouted to myself “Hey don’t be stupid, you did your duty”.. But what is my duty ;killing innocent people?.Is he innocent?? I don’t know.. I don’t even know his name ,yet I took his life with my bravery.. What has he wronged me?? Did he harm my parents? Did he molest my wife? Did he assault my little girl? NO !! is the obvious answer.. Then why ?? Patriotism(both his and mine).. I have heard ‘killing being justified by vengeance’ but can patriotism justify it.?. What is patriotism after all? ‘love for my country’ .. Then what is ‘country’? I felt really annoyed with my mind for framing so many questions today.. Country is a land ,a part of our planet earth which we divided from the rest for human ruling. One truth hit me right on my mind ‘I killed this person for the imaginary boundary which my ancestors created’… of course if I didn’t, he would have killed me.. What really made us enemies?? Being born few hundred kilometers apart across the boundary??. Ya that’s all… Else we would have been friends,even would have shared drinks..
Does he have a family??.Loving parents, beautiful wife and smart children waiting for him to return home.. A pleasant ‘family reunion’ scene came to my mind.. But I erased this scene from reality.. Because he is never gonna walk back home… With a single trigger of my rifle I changed lives of many people.. ‘I ended a man’s life’ , I turned ‘a woman into a widow’ and made children father less… If I have so much power over others’ life , then “am I God” or is God acting on me to carry his deeds.. I have heard that God has a reason for every deed of His. Does He has one for this?? I don’t know…
I knelt down ,closed his eyes with the very hands that closed his life.. I stood up and saluted him for his “humanship”… I walked back thinking , “Am I a soldier or a creep sinner ,only God(if exist) can judge me”………